The Internet is certainly no stranger to sparking debate, especially when it comes to parenting techniques. A recent video, shared by a mother of five, sparked a controversial conversation about the Ettqiuette birthday party.
Jeena Wilder, from South Carolina, shared her position in a video she shared on TikTok and Instagram. In the short clip, Wilder appeared to enthusiastically read an invitation to a birthday party before turning to dance in a straight line in his house.
Soon after, four of her children followed, followed by her husband, Drue, who was carrying their four-month-old son.
âPOV when you invite one of my kids to a birthday party,â the video read overlaid with text. âYou invite a child you all hostâ¦ Don’t worry, we bring great gifts. “
At TIC TacWilder accompanied the video with a legend who further explained his position.
âDo you team up with the guest child or the whole family ?!â she asked. My husband works a lot and most of the time it’s just me and the kids! I always answer or ask parents first.
In her Instagram Captioned, she expanded on the topic by asking her audience a question: “If one of your kids is invited to a birthday party, does that mean all of your kids can go?” “
Personally, Wilder has said that she is “the whole family’s team”. However, she understands that not everyone will agree with her.
âI know not everyone feels like this, so I always make sure I spend a little more on the birthday present than the average person would to make up for it,â she added on Instagram.
On her two social media platforms, parents rang in comments on both sides of the issue to share their opinions on her decision.
One TikTok user said he would have appreciated the extra guests, writing, “You are now invited to all of my birthday parties. Nobody ever comes, so it would be nice to have you all.
âI don’t make deposits at parties. I always stay and hang around! another parent wrote in the comments on Instagram. âAnd if the party is in a park or somewhere that doesn’t require a per head cost, we all definitely go. I always plan to have whole families when we throw parties.
Another Instagram user, who said his family also came as a package, wrote: âI would never invite a child and I wouldn’t expect siblings haha. , I would certainly say so specifically.
Not everyone was happy to have so many guests. In both posts, people left comments that disagreed with the idea that all children come when only one has been invited and criticized Wilder’s stance on the matter.
âAs a mom who invited my kids’ class and half of them came with their families, please don’t,â wrote one TikTok user. âWe don’t plan to feed that many people. “
Another parent added: “As a mother of an anxious introverted child, having other children that she did not invite would have ruined it.”
âNo. I don’t think so,â one Instagram user wrote in the comments. âIt’s a special time for ‘this kid’ to enjoy. It’s also a lesson to be learnedâ¦ Teach them how to be excited that the child is party Money does not compensate for extras at a party.
Regardless of the difference in opinions, one Instagram user was hoping the two sides could find common ground on one thing, writing: “Whatever team we are on, can we all agree to be part of the RSVP team? “
Wilder replied, âyes, I agree! Whichever team you’re on, EVERYBODY MUST RSVP! “
The 32-year-old mother told TODAY in a phone interview that she didn’t expect the controversial social media response because it’s something she and her friends are doing collectively in their group of friends. .
“It’s a small group of friends where we all have several children, but all of our children are under a certain age,” she explained. “So we’re all like, ‘Hey don’t you think it’s weird that your kid is invited to a friend’s party and you don’t know the parents and how all parents just dive and run? ? And I’m just like, ‘Yes!’ I still find it weird. Every time I send out party invitations, it’s always the whole family.
Wilder, who runs an Instagram account on motherhood and adoption, said that because her husband works Monday through Saturday, she’s the one who will have to stay at parties and watch their children these days.
She also acknowledged that her Haitian roots and upbringing may have affected her parenting style culturally, explaining that growing up, entire families were always invited to parties. There was also an element of considering the safety of your children to protect them.
âI grew up as a Haitian household. All the rules we had were extremely child safety focused, âshe explained, even sharing that her father didn’t allow sleepovers.
Regarding comments about wanting children to be more independent or to have moments to themselves, Wilder has no plans to make it a family affair forever, explaining, “As I get older , they will have more freedom because I was there to show them how to act.
Ultimately, Wilder hopes parents can learn to respect the parental boundaries of other families.
âDifferent families do different things, but it all comes down to respecting others the way they do because I never imposed myself on others,â she said. âI totally agree if people say no. I’m like, ‘Okay, I got it. I’m sorry … No hard feelings … ‘”
âThe way I do things is not the way you do things, and that’s okay,â Wilder continued. “We are all different people. It would be extremely boring if everyone did the exact same thing.”
However, Wilder was not exaggerating when she said her family had brought great gifts. One of the most lavish gifts she could remember giving was a miniature bouncy house, so the family of seven are definitely invited to our next party!