The art of refusing compliments


Statistics show that women give 39 times more compliments than men and receive 139 times more. (All statistics and wisdom are the author’s own). However, we women don’t know what to do with a compliment once it lands on us. These elegantly organized techniques (also those of the writer) can help. And please don’t thank me – I won’t know how to take it.

The boomerang: Protest vehemently and return that compliment to whoever dared to say something nice about you. “Do you think I have nice hair?” What’s wrong? It’s quite the opposite. It’s stiff as a bottle brush and I’m losing my mind faster than the Brazilian rainforest. Most conversations will then turn to helpful home remedies for hair loss, from onions to raw eggs. Wonderful ! Back on safe (albeit smelly) ground.

The electric drill: This move is so simple, it’s genius. To exhaust the patience of the most resolute complimenter, respond to any compliment with a “No!” Really?”

“How well you speak!”

“No really?”

“Of course. Such a clear mind.

“No really?”

“Uh, yes, really…”

“No really?”

Very quickly, the complimenter will dry up and remember that he is supposed to urgently get a cauliflower for dinner or have a tooth extracted.

“I have to run now, so nice talking to you.”

“No really?”

The matte: Compliments, of course, as paranoids know, are covert attacks. How many times has someone said, “How young you look”? Look at this? Sly! Are they suggesting that you are as preserved as a pickle? When you’re old as a fossil? Counter attack. “You look even younger. You could even pretend to be my mother. Is that your real hair? Ha! It will take time before they dare to compliment you again.

The disinfectant: This move drives away 99.99% of the compliments that dare to sneak in. This takes suspicion to a whole new level. However the compliment is disguised, this technique will stop it dead. As soon as the attack starts with a “Wow!”, cut it off. Don’t wait to find out if they wow your shoes or your smile. “Nothing great about that. You’re still exaggerating. Now they’re being silenced. Well done, you!

The defense attorney: If you’ve watched enough courtroom dramas, you know this one. You must cast a reasonable doubt. Most of us women are already experts in this area. If someone likes your earrings, instantly ignore them, “Oh please! Cheap sidewalk stuff. If someone says you’ve lost weight, muddle things up immediately. “You should see my thighs.” (Disclaimer: only for those unable to see it). Or “You need new glasses.”

Unfortunately, there are a few insufferable people who can actually accept a compliment with grace and even suggest you do the same. There’s only one thing to say to these saints – okay, two: “No. Really?”

Where Jane De Suza, the author of ‘Happily Never After,’ talks about the quirks, charlatans and hacks of the week


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